take on

You will perhaps come across someone who’s in a situation or an addiction to something and subconsciously wants to move out of it. But that person just can’t do it or is unable to, and you really want to help him / her to be able to come out of it - which will of course, need a lot of courage and support and company.

What I often find people do in this situation is give that person an ultimatum, like:

• "It's either this side or that, you have to make a choice now."
• "I'm going to leave you if can't make up your mind."

I see giving ultimatums like these as absolutely wrong, something that will break that person even more. You need to understand that she is already fighting a lot of conflicts in her mind, she can easily give in to those thoughts and feelings but she is fighting everything that is making her weak. It’s not your ultimatum, in this situation, that is going to help her. You should rather be her guidance from the dark into the light. You should love her and support her as much as you can and keep reminding her that she is much more special than this and that you see where she can be and you know what she can be and this is not where she belongs.

me.

Hi, I exist.